Haters, The--Jesse Andrews

Title: The Haters
Author: Jesse Andrews
Publisher: Harry N. Abrams, 2016
Pages: 336 p.
Source: Library
Compensation: None
Read: July 2016

Jesse Andrews' The Haters

Wes and Corey are all set for another boring summer at music band camp when they run into free-spirited singer Ash and have a totally inspired monster jam session. They decide that the three of them mesh so well together that rather than waste their time at camp, they should take their new act to the road. Because gigging across America is the only way to truly refine your musical chops. Their road trip is not without some hilarious drama.

I read this book while we were camping and I distinctly remember being in my sleeping bag with a flashlight because I couldn't put it down. I also remember trying not to giggle and wake my kids up. The Haters was an enjoyable coming-of-age book and is sure to delight music fans, as well as kids who just want a regular realistic funny non-dystopian read.

******

The Chapel Wars--Lindsey Leavitt

Title: The Chapel Wars
Author: Lindsey Leavitt
Publisher: Bloomsbury, 2014.
Pages: 292 p.
Source: VOYA
Compensation: None

Holly has always been the responsible hard working grandchild, but it is still surprising when Grandpa Jim’s will leaves the 16 year old his wedding chapel. Equally as surprising is the letter she is supposed to hand deliver to a boy who just happens to be the grandson of her grandfather’s rival chapel owner and sworn enemy. Not at all surprising is that Holly falls in love with Dax and the two must hide their Shakespearean romance from their families. 

Lindsey Leavitt has written a funny, touching story of dysfunctional families and a loving grandfather’s last attempt at fixing things. Holly is the perfect example of a leader. She makes hard decisions for the company, even if they go against her personal wishes, and she does so with strength and grace. She may be confused and lost on the inside, but she still takes control of the family business and they trust her decisions. A good mix of funny and sad, the romance is just enough to be entertaining but not too much to overshadow the main story. Leavitt waits until the very last page before revealing Grandpa Jim’s letter to Dax, a strategy that works perfectly for our appreciation of the book. In a world of trilogies, The Chapel Wars stands alone as a funny, realistic, heartfelt novel that teens of all ages will enjoy.

******
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Crap Kingdom--DC Pierson

Title: Crap Kingdom
Author: DC Pierson
Publisher: Viking Juvenile, 2013.
Pages: 368 p
Source: Library
Compensation: None

I first heard about this book on twitter and the combination of the title and the comedian endorsements made me add it to my to read list.

Tom Parking is your ordinary drama geek who dreams of something more, something bigger, than his small town easy life. Tom is not unhappy, he's just not particularly happy either. He gets along well with his mom, enjoys his acting, has a couple of friends at school and no major problems. Which is why he's the wrong guy to be chosen as a hero for an alternate universe in trouble. Even though he dreams of being a hero and saving the world, his life is just a tad bit not horrible enough for him to risk everything to save this other world which, quite frankly, sucks. It's not until the "Crap Kingdom" finds another chosen one that Tom realizes the opportunity he passed up and tries to help.

Crap Kingdom is not your typical hero-novel. The portal between our worlds and theirs is a clothing drop-off bin, one of those large containers for donated clothes, which opens up to a lake full of rejected clothes and laundry detergent. The people of this alternate universe all wear odd combinations of clothing that they pick up from the lake. They build their houses from garbage gathered from the human world. There are funny bits about drinking from toilet-like contraptions to help them remember their horrible lives instead of forgetting them. Tom's interactions with the townspeople and the Princess are amusing.

Crap Kingdom is a good quick read, great for boys and for readers who want to read a funny take on the hero-quest novel.
******
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How to be a Zombie--Serena Valentino

Title: How to be a Zombie
Author: Serena Valentino
Publisher: Candlewick Press, 2010
Pages: 144
Source: VOYA, courtesy of the publisher
Compensation: None

Zombies have always been popular with a certain segment of the teen population. That popularity has increased recently due to the success of movies like “Zombieland” and the TV show “The Walking Dead.” Serena Valentino capitalizes on this attraction for the undead with a unique, funny, interesting guide for zombies. There have been books telling humans how to survive a zombie apocalypse, but this book is geared for the newly risen zombie instead and serves as the “Essential Guide for Anyone Who Craves Brains.” Valentino counsels the novice zombie on his origins, offers suggestions on finding fresh brains to eat, and gives advice on the latest fashions for the undead. She also lists the essential zombie books and movies for further information.

Even non-zombie fans will find Valentino’s book to be a fun and worthwhile read. The book is full of useful hilarious information. In the chapter “How to Pass as a Human,” Valentino warns that “Humans rarely lurch, moan, or bite each other, so you should cut back on these habits.” Colorful photographs of zombies are interspersed throughout the book adding to its visual appeal. Zombie fans will most likely want to buy their own copy, but libraries should have one as well. 

******
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Scarlett Fever--Maureen Johnson

Title: Scarlett Fever
Author: Maureen Johnson
Publisher: Point (Scholastic)
Pages: 336 p
Source: library

Scarlett is your typical teenage girl--she lives in a hotel, works for a theatrical agent, and helps her brother figure out the best way to die while trying to fasten a seatbelt on an airplane. Scarlett is actually far from typical. Her family runs a small hotel and barely make ends meet, her older brother is a struggling actor, her older sister is dating a rich guy the family doesn't like, her younger sister is a cancer survivor who lives to make her siblings miserable but comes back from camp "nice". Scarlett is obsessed with a young actor and intrigued by a new classmate she's supposed to spy on for her agent boss. She has a lot of things on her plate, but manages them all with humor.

This is the first Maureen Johnson book I have read and I understand now why she has such a cult following on twitter. Although this is a sequel to Suite Scarlett, I didn't feel lost or confused at all. Johnson does a good job of alluding to previous events with just enough explanation to advance the current story. Scarlett is funny and likable. I loved her family and the close relationship she had with her brother. The characters are realistic and while not perfect, their actions are understandable. The book is thoroughly enjoyable and will prompt new readers to seek out the first one and to hope a next one is published very soon. The book ends rather abruptly like a friend hanging up the phone in the middle of the story. We're left saying "What next??"and hoping we get an answer soon.

******
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Adventures of Blue Avenger--Norma Howe

From the Vault

This review was originally written--handwritten no less--in October 1999 before the Age of Blogs. I'm not editing it at all because I don't believe in tampering with history. For other old reviews, click on the "From the Vault" tag.

Title: Adventures of Blue Avenger

Author: Norma Howe

1999

genre: Humor; Fiction

Subjects: free will/determinism; choices; heroes; family

Summary: 16 year old David Schumacher decides to change his name to Blue Avenger on his birthday. When he becomes Blue, he transforms into a hero and is able to do good deeds and save his friends. 

Critique: Very well written, it looks at serious subjects, grief, free will/determinism, and makes them funny without mocking them. 

Recommendation: Yes

******
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Real Live Boyfriends--E. Lockhart

Title: Real Live Boyfriends
Author: E. Lockhart
Publisher: Delacorte Press, 2010
240 p hardcover, 224 p ARC

This book will be published December 28, 2010. But I read an ARC that I WON FROM E. LOCKHART. That's right, peeps. I won an ARC. But fear not, that won't affect my review. 

We last left Ruby Oliver in The Treasure Map of Boys when she finally recognized her true feelings for Noel and was rewarded with a real live boyfriend. We pick up in Real Live Boyfriends with Ruby blissfully happy with Noel. But this is Ruby we're talking about, we know blissfully happy doesn't last forever. And sure enough when Noel is visiting his brother he suddenly turns into a pod-robot lobotomy patient. Ruby's one chance at true love is shattered, she's fighting with her mom, her grandmother dies and her dad gets depressed. And yet this is the best Ruby Oliver book to date!

I've gushed about Ruby before as well as about E. Lockhart, so you know I'm not just saying this because I think that maybe, just maybe, she might actually read this review since I won the book from her. Ruby is one of those characters that we just want to root for. She's funny even at her worst moments. She's real. She makes mistakes and then makes more mistakes trying to fix those first mistakes. Through it all she keeps her sense of humor. Sure, she's boy-crazy and she's searching for true love but she keeps her own identity, she stays true to herself, and never turns into one of those empty-headed need a boy to complete me type of girls. She even breaks up with a perfectly reasonable boy because he's not the one she really needs and in the end she's not willing to sacrifice herself and settle for less than true happiness.

If you've read the first three books, Real Live Boyfriends is a MUST- READ. If you haven't read the first three, you've got some time. Get on it now and you'll be all ready for the December release!

I was not compensated for this review other than winning the contest for my snarkiness and receiving the book. 
******
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The Treasure Map of Boys--E. Lockhart

Title: The Treasure Map of Boys
Author: E. Lockhart
Delacorte Press, 2009
244 p.

This is the 3rd Ruby Oliver book. Ruby's adventure with boys started in The Boyfriend List and continued in The Boy Book. Here's a funny--I had always loved The Boyfriend List after I did the YA Author You Need to Read article about E. Lockhart I couldn't believe I hadn't read the sequels. So I requested them from the library. The Boy Book came and I read it and loved it and the whole time I thought wow, it's like I know what's going to happen, but not in a bad predictable writing way, but just in a, I know you so well Ruby way. I came on here to write my review and searched for E. Lockhart so I could link to the review of The Boyfriend List. And what came up? A review for The Boy Book. Yeah. I READ THE BOOK ALREADY. I have no explanation, other than I have 3 children and I am turning into my mother.

And now, for the review.

Lockhart calls this book a companion novel and not a sequel. She's right in that a reader could pick this up and not be completely lost without reading the first two. But it's so much more enjoyable when you do read the first two and you can think things like I know you so well Ruby. In The Treasure Map of Boys Ruby is navigating her way through the state of Noboyfriend while maintaining flirtations with various boys, including ex-boyfriend current cad Jackson and loyal but mixed-message sending Noel. She does all of this the only way she can--with humor. Ruby is nowhere near perfect and she knows it and that's what makes us like her even more. We want her to end up with the right guy, not just any guy, and we want her to have friends who are true friends. It's a credit to Lockhart's writing that she has created such a charming character.

Fans of the first two will eat this one up, if they haven't already, and I dare say that those who are just coming to the series will seek out the previous books as well.
******
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Only the Good Spy Young--Ally Carter

"Only the Good Spy Young" is the 4th book in the Gallagher Girls series by Ally Carter. I reviewed the 3rd book, "Don't Judge a Girl by her Cover" yesterday. This latest entry in the series answers many questions, while still enticing the reader to want more. I don't like to do summaries here--I look at these as reviews not book reports--so I like to focus on the critical analysis and whether or not you should read this book rather than what happened. But I will tell you this, by the end of this book you will know:
Who Joe Solomon is
Who Zach is and what he's hiding
and some other stuff I'm not going to tell you.

The Gallagher Girls books are fun to read. The girls are smart and strong and funny. Carter does a great job of telling a suspenseful, thoughtful story, while keeping it fun and funny. Cammie is a great protagonist--she's still grieving for her father, still longing for more of a relationship with her mother, still scared of people who want to hurt her, but she doesn't lose herself. She still quips and wonders whether Zach is going to kiss her. Carter's writing is easy to read because it's interesting and entertaining. But there's a substance there too. I would feel completely comfortable handing these books to a middle school girl, as well as older readers. Boys will be turned off by the pink cover, but they might be persuaded to change their minds when the movies start coming out. According to Carter's website she plans 6 books in the series. I for one can't wait for the next installment!
******
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Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover--Ally Carter

When I was a kid I loved Wonder Woman. I still do. That's why even though I blinked, I didn't really hesitate to drop $30 on a Wonder Woman action figure my daughter can actually play with. When I was a young adult (in the true sense of the word--in my 20s) I transferred that adoration to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then when Buffy was gone I found Veronica Mars. Do you see a pattern?

I like strong girls.

Naturally then, I LOVE the Gallagher Girls series by Ally Carter (she *is* a YA Author You Need to Read, you know.) The first one was "I'd Tell You I Love You, But then I'd Have to Kill You", the second was "Cross My Heart & Hope to Spy". I don't why it took me so long to get to the 3rd one in the series, but I'll blame my children.

I thought that finishing up the Gallagher Girls series would be the perfect followup to the Hunger Games series... something fun and light and fluffy. I was wrong. It's still fun, but in "Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover" Carter has taken the series to the next step. It's not a light, fluffy, beach read. It's more real. In the first two books the biggest problem was boys. Sure, the girls were in spy school and had to learn how to, you know, be spies, but it was trying to figure out boys that really gave them headaches. In the latest books, the girls are dealing with real life espionage, kidnapping and danger on top of mixed signals from boys.

In the 3rd book in the series, Cammie and her roommate Macey are in Boston watching Macey's father accept the nomination for Vice President of the United States. They wind up the target of kidnappers and must use their special spy skills to save themselves. They spend the rest of their junior year trying to figure out who the kidnappers were and why they were targeted. What they discover surprises them.

Carter has added depth to the characters as well as beginning a story arc giving the girls an enemy and making their work more meaningful. There's lots of adventure, humor, suspense, and a little bit of romance making this a must read.
******
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The sweet, terrible, glorious year, I truly completely lost it--Lisa Shanahan

Title: the sweet, terrible, glorious year I truly, completely lost it
Author: Lisa Shanahan
Pages: 297 p
Publisher: delacorte press
ISBN: 9780385735162

Gemma Stone (HAHA. Get it? Gem Stone. GEMSTONE) has always been a calm shy girl who throws up when she speaks in public. The same year that her sister gets engaged and plans a crazy wedding, Gemma discovers that she can keep the bile down if she's speaking in character--in a play on stage. She also discovers that the school delinquent is a gifted actor and a true friend.

I gobbled this book up. It was fun. It's Australian so some of the slang is odd--but in a good way. It's a fun quick read and I'd recommend it. And I now have my new favorite phrase in the world: chucking a birkett*.


* "IN MY FAMILY, when anyone rides the wave of their emotions, we say they're chucking a birkett. When the emotion drives out all common sense, we say they're chucking a big one. The telltale signs are: flaming cheeks, shortness of breath, bulging eyes, and a prolonged illogical outburst."
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Reading:
On My Nightstand:

Cross my Heart and Hope to Spy--Ally Carter

Sequel to I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You, this one is not *quite* as fun, but it's still entertaining and definitely leaves you wanting to read more stories. There's romance, spy-stuff, and loads of references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There was one sentence with both Buffy AND Veronica Mars and my head almost exploded! Lots of girl power. Good book.

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Reading:
On My Nightstand:

I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You--Ally Carter

Loved this book! This was just the right amount of fluff with substance that I needed. It's "romance" but there's enough adventure and other stuff in there to keep me interested. It takes place at an all-girls spy school. How cool is that? You can find a summary on Amazon. I don't have the time to write it out for you. I would definitely recommend it! Great read.

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Reading:
On My Nightstand:

Girl, Going on 17, Pants on Fire--Sue Limb

Title: Girl, Going on 17, Pants on Fire
Author: Sue Limb
Pages: 233 p
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 038573218x

This is the 3rd book in this series and just as funny as the first two. Jess Jordan really knows how to get herself in trouble--after spending the summer worrying about her boyfriend cheating on her because of some miscommunication, she lets yet another miscommunication break them up the day before school is to begin. From there her school year just gets worse and worse.

Jess is a funny likeable character. Girls who liked the Louise Rennison books will be attracted to all of Jess's mishaps and her Britishisms but will like Jess even more because she's not as mean-spirited as Georgia Nicholson is. Jess is just a confused teenage girl with delicate self esteem who would like the world to revolve around her but knows it doesn't. I heartily recommend this entire series to middle and high school girls alike. Boys probably won't be as interested.

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Reading: Among the Hidden--Margaret Peterson Haddix
On My Nightstand:

The Boy Book--E. Lockhart

Title: The Boy Book
Author: E. Lockhart
Pages: 193 p.
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0385732082

Ruby Oliver, star of The Boyfriend List, is back for more adventures in this funny sequel. Although she's not having panic attacks anymore Ruby is still seeing her shrink, Dr. Z. Things are looking slightly better for her--she's developed a friendship with a couple of people and her old friend Nora is talking to her again. But just when she thinks she's got her life somewhat back together her ex-best friend and boyfriend-stealer Kim comes back early from her trip to Japan and Ruby's panic attacks start up again.

If you liked The Boyfriend List, you'll like this one too. It's not entirely necessary to have read it though. Lockhart gives enough background info to let you know what happened in the first book without beating you over the head with it. Ruby is a funny flawed character and teen girls will definitely relate to her and her multiple problems with multiple boys. Junior High and High School girls (grades 8+) will especially like it.

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Reading: Nothing :-(
On My Nightstand:

Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love--Maryrose Wood

Title: Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love
Author: Maryrose Wood
Pages: 243 p.
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0385732767

Felicia and her best friends Jess and Kat attend a new-age private school in NYC. They don't have traditional classes or homework and are instead supposed to work on special projects and motivate themselves. They call each other Kittens because of a chance encounter with a special kitten tarot card deck that brings them together as friends. Boys are naturally Dawgs.

Felicia is in love with one Dawg in particular but he doesn't seem interested in her. So she comes up with a crazy plan--a science experiment about love--in order to attract his attention.

I loved this book. It was funny, it was smart. I loved the plot. It was silly and captivating and an all-around great read.

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Reading: The Book of Night With Moon--Diane Duane
On My Nightstand: Just Listen--Sarah Dessen

How Angel Peterson Got His Name--Gary Paulsen

What a great book for middle school boys!

The author narrates this collection of loosely related memories of his days as a 13 year old boy. He and his friends make their own entertainment before the days of TV and video games and the Internet. They ride bikes and make their own skateboards and perform their own daredevil stunts.

Paulsen tells the story like he's talking directly to the reader around a campfire at night "Remember when Angel tried to break the speed-ski record ...." It's funny and exciting and short. Middle school boys will eat this right up. I don't know how girls will relate... I enjoyed it but while I was reading it all I could think about was what I wasn't going to let my son do when he gets to be 13.


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Reading: Sir Thursday--Garth Nix
On My Nightstand:

Girl, Nearly 16 Absolute Torture--Sue Limb

I don't like romance novels. I hate them. But I love romance IN novels. This is the sequel to the last book I read, Girl, 15, Charming But Insane. It's a funny story, with a lot of romance, but the romance is not the story. In the last book Jess decided she was not truly in love with the boy she was obsessed with (Ben) and she realized her true feelings for her best mate, Fred. This book picks up a few months later after Fred and Jess have become an item. Thinking she's going to have the best summer in the world now that she has a boyfriend, Jess can't wait for it to begin. And then she gets the news that her mum has scheduled a 2-3 week road trip to go see her Dad and to see boring literary historical landmarks along the way. Jess is devastated. How will she survive without Fred? But more importantly, how will Fred resist the temptations of the evil beautiful women playing tennis sexily? Especially her best friend, the blond perfect Flora.

Jess and Fred are hysterical together. Instead of the usual sappy romance, they're funny. They insult each other but it's in a loving way. Jess is a great character and I loved her overreactions to everything (she constantly feared Fred would be cheating on her and blew everything out of proportion whenver any girl talked to him). Although they kept in pretty close contact because of text messaging on their cell phones, Jess still freaked out and there was still miscommunication and drama. You'd think when someone is in constant contact there would be no misunderstandings , but with teens there are ALWAYS misunderstandings.

I loved this book. I'd like to hear more stories about Jess!

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Reading:
On My Nightstand: How Angel Peterson Got His Name--Gary Paulsen, Sir Thursday--Garth Nix

Girl, 15, Charming But Insane--Sue Limb

Jessica Jordan is a 15 year old British girl with low self-esteem, flaky friends, and boy problems. Sound familiar? While similiar to Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicholson series (Angus, Thongs & Full-Frontal Snogging), Jess is a much much nicer character than Georgia. She isn't quite so self-asborbed, and she isn't mean. She thinks her arse is too big and her boobs too small (who doesn't?) and she's confused about boys-- there's the stud she's obsessed with and then her best mate who has always been there for her but is he really just a friend? Jess is a likeable character and this is an enjoyable story. The best part is Jess's mom is a librarian so there are funny lines about librarians. Naturally, being a librarian I thought this was hilarious. This by far is the funniest:

"You might think that being a librarian would be a quiet, cushy job, but sometimes it seemed that the library was really a nightmarish extension of the mean streets and that librarians were just cops and paramedics disguised in tweedy cardigans and long dangly parrot earrings from the charity shop."

This is a good story, it's funny and Jess is a good character. There is a hysterical bit about Jess using sandwich bags full of minestrone to um, enhance, a certain area of her body with disastrous results. It's definitely a girl's book, I don't see many boys being tempted to read it. Although the word "sex" appears frequently, the act itself never appears. A good book for both middle school and high school girls, it'll leave you excited to read the sequel.

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Reading:
On My Nightstand: Girl, Nearly 16 Absolute Torture--Sue Limb

The Boyfriend List--E. Lockhart

Fifteen year old Ruby has everything going for her, a group of best friends, a perfect boyfriend, interesting albeit annoying parents, and then she loses it all (except the parents) and has panic attacks instead. Trying to figure out what went wrong, Ruby starts therapy and comes up with the reason: boys. She comes up with a list of all her boyfriends, even the ones that were imagined and unofficial and crushes from afar.

Ruby (Roo) is a funny typical boy-obsessed teenage girl. At times she is shallow and self-centered, and other times she really is the victim of her cruel peers. Her best friend is right that she was not meant to be with her "perfect boyfriend" (I thought his unique valentine's gift--half a carnation--was nice, but Roo wanted the everyday roses and didn't see the value in being different) but that doesn't mean her best friend should go out with him! What kind of a friend is that? Roo is not the nicest to her friends either--she snubs the only friends who really appreciate her. But she comes around in the end.

I liked The Boyfriend List. Roo is a likeable character, even with her faults. There were a couple of times when I was confused as to what was happening when, but no more confused than when I talk to real teenage girls.... and I think it was more a problem with my mommy brain than with the writing. It all made sense in the end. :-)

I think high school girls will appreciate the story more--they have more of a history with boys than middle school girls. Although middle schoolers are getting just as cliquey as high schoolers, and they are definitely into boys, it just reads more like a high school book. And there are some references to certain, um, acts, that I hope middle schoolers don't know. Although these days, you never can tell. I'm reading this with my high school book group in January so we'll see what they say...

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Reading: Drowned Wednesday--Garth Nix
On My Nightstand: Girls Dinner Club--Jessie Elliot